So the photo for this blog is the first Meme I've ever created. Kind of fitting as Star Wars IV was probably the first movie I saw in a movie theatre. So, will there be spoilers in this blog? Yeah, probably, but I say, if you haven’t seen the new movie by now then you aren’t that into the saga and have no real reason to complain. For the rest of you, read on.
So, I, like many people, was anticipating this movie, with a director like J.J Abrams behind it,  I trusted that it would be fantastic. He was, after all, the one that turned me back on to the Star Trek legacy. Unfortunately, I live with a bit of a nerd: my husband. Who, while watching the trailers, was giving me insight into the storyline (as he’s actually read these stories…think of that folks! These stories are actually in book form! Crazy!) and I knew going in that Leia and Han had twins and one turned to the dark side as the new Vader. So, about 1/4 into the film I turn to him and start whispering questions about the character’s relation and he just waved me off with, “They must have changed that for this movie.” That is kind of a big deal to me, I don’t like drastic story changes, now I was really pissed that he had told me anything. As a parent, more questions start brewing, particularly how Leia and Han could have raised such an Emo teenager (follow @emokyloren for some great laughs). Where did he get the melted mask? Why was that the only piece to survive? What if he only found Vader's boot? How bad was the parenting of these two galactic heroes? And in the words of my comedian Andy Bush, “Man. look at what 40 years did to Princess Leia! It turned her into a poorly written character!” 
Before the movie came out, the film makers were getting worried it wasn’t going to be as good as everyone was hoping. In my opinion, yeah, that kind of happened here. But, now get this, as I read the posts of people who had watched it, I started to see something really incredible that has lead me to believe: this is a “guy” movie. Men on Twitter, who saw the early premiers, said they “Cried their eyes out” and were “Puddles”. As I sat in the theatre I couldn’t help but notice I was flanked by young males, um, wiping tears away. I was still sitting there fuming about plot points and bad acting and these guys were crying?! Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a few girl friends on Facebook state they loved the new movie but the “guys” have already gone and seen it 3 or 4 times already. Really? Wouldn’t that make you question even more plot holes? Is this what becoming a parent has done to me? Am I this jaded? Has age made me more  practical? Am I expecting more than I should from a fantasy story, built on the the Joseph Campbell hero mythology? Um…yes.

I did something I said I would never do again…theatre. “But Stephanie”, you might say, “Didn’t you get a degree in Theatre?” Well the answer is yes, I’m still a strong believer that an actor needs to spend time on stage as this is the very root of acting. The skills you develop in memorization, blocking, projection (reaching that last person in the back row), rehearsing, and being on, live, where anything can happen and you have to deal with it, are traits that make you a stronger actor. There is the instant gratification: the applause, the standing ovations, the laughter and tears right in front of you at every performance. There have been stories of screen actors going to their first public appearance and being shocked that they had crowds of fans, screaming their names, as they had been locked away in a sound stage for months before. There is also the ability to manipulate the performances, one of the New York actors in the role of the priest in “Doubt” said he fed off the energy of the audience and would adjust the idea of if his character was guilty or not based on what the audience was feeling on a given night. It also allows for an audience member to be able to see a show a second or third time and get a whole new experience. Now here comes my big “But”…Theatre is TIME CONSUMING. In comparison,  for a commercial you typically walk on set, do a quick blocking and start shooting, you could be looking at working at a day of work, two at the most, sometimes double or triple what you would make on the stage in under 24 hours. Films are knocked out in months (weeks in the case of movies like “Sharknato”) but a play takes months of rehearsals and then the weeks or months of the run of the show, it is a huge commitment…one I was trying to avoid. So, why go back? Frankly, I was offered a role I couldn’t refuse: Miss Shields in the musical version of “A Christmas Story”, yes, I got to dust off my tap shoes and sing “You’ll shoot your eye out.” The nights were long with rehearsals, the choreography…exhausting, the errors and missed cues stop your heart, but man, there is nothing like singing your guts out to an audience that came to a little community theatre production and walked away amazed and entertain. Being part of a “family” of actors who work together for months is incredible, even the backstage crew are a huge part of what makes these shows work, everyone is essential and appreciated. There is nothing like the applause, the feeling of accomplishment, the end result of saying “I did it!” 
Going back to your roots is a wonderful chance to relive some of your best and tiring parts of life. Maybe try dusting off something you haven’t picked up in a while and see if the thrill doesn’t come back, I “Double dog dare you!”

I have been noticing I’m a lot more reserved in the company of other parents. With four kids, we are at a lot of after school programs: Swimming, Scouts, Dance, Cooking, Drums, French, and the list goes on. At these programs we send off our children to engage in an activity that will (hopefully) make them more rounded individuals, giving them life skills that will aid them in getting a good job, or to just keep them away from TV for a few hours. In this time, we, the adults, stand or sit around and inevitably, start talking to each other. 99% of the time we talk about our kids, this alone is a wonderful people watching endeavour. You have the people who brag about their kids, is it because they never succeeded in this area of life? Are they hoping this will make us look more favourably on these wonderful parents with child prodigies? Then there are the parents that are there against their will, do the kids just want it more than them? Did the “ex” sign the child up without consulting their schedule? There are parents that complain about their kids the whole time, I kind of enjoy these parents, seeing that I vent about my kids, publicly however, with my @antimommy account on Twitter. As I talk to theses parents, I gauge how much we can talk outside of our main topic of children. I’m interested in finding out what these people do, how they met their spouses, what they like to do as hobbies. I find that when the topic comes to what I do for a living there is some shock. “You get up on stage and make people laugh?” “You audition for roles?” and then most times the conversation ends with “I could never do what you do.” Which, of course, goes against everything I teach at my acting school.  I truly believe anyone can improvise, we do it everyday. The essence of improv and acting is play, and we all did it when we were the same age as our children are now, inside said gym, classroom, or field. I’m not sure why parents drag their kids (and in some cases, the whole family) around to cater to these 45 min. of self expression and creativity, of team skills and physical development, and forget that they are made of the same stuff their kids are. You CAN teach an old dog new tricks and in the case of improv, it is re-igniting the skills of creativity and spontaneity that we were all born with, everyone was a skilled player in the game of “pretend!”
If the conversation finds itself at this point, I turn the attention back to the kids, I mean can you imagine if they find out that I have an extreme blue sense of humour that can only be deemed Politically Incorrect? Or that I’m currently pitching a TV Show called Cougars where women are sleeping with men half their age? Nope. I can’t relate to most parents. I’ll just be here holding the coats.

While driving in the car, my nine year old, reading a book for "Tweens", called from the back seat, "Mom, what's a broad?"

"It's another name for woman," I started, "But it's not an accepted term, some see it as derogative..." now I was stumbling, "Ah...some people don't like that term, they think it's a name that makes women feel...insignificant, waved aside." Or does it? What comes up for me when I hear "broad" is a strong woman, in her late 60's, with a cigarette in one hand and playing cards in the other hand, a woman who raises one eyebrow at you and replies dryly, "Who the hell are you supposed to be?" or "Hold on, it's going to be a bumpy night". The term brings up images of the film noir's femme fatale who has the power to throw the detective off his game, just by walking into the room. "Some people kind of like the term," I continued, "It could be seen as a nickname of sorts, like dame, tomato, chick, Betty."

What is an excepted nickname for a woman? More importantly, why do some, perfectly acceptable terms for "woman", get on our nerves? My big pet peeve is when I'm (very politely) called "Ma'am" by someone serving me in a store. I, like many woman, insist, "Oh, please no, I'm too young to be a ma'am!" but if someone calls me "Honey" or "Sweetie" I soften to them, terms that imply weakness and frailty. I am a ma'am, and after having four children, I am certainly old enough to be called one, but my crazed desire to cling to my youth leads me to instantly like someone who refers to me as a "babe" or "chick", other terms for young offspring.

As I blather on about the political correctness and feminist views on labels I glance up in my rearview mirror and notice my daughter's furrowed brow at my explanation. That is when I suddenly stop and ask, "Uh, what's the sentence?"

She glanced down and read the sentence that spurned on this intellectual dissection of the battle of the sexes, that had me questioning my own beliefs in what is acceptable to call woman, and what created a panic to install the right phrasing for the sake of my daughter's development:

"I have been to England, have you ever been abroad?"

I shared a picture on Facebook and some people were horrified, it was a picture of a deer, obviously hit by a car and someone had tied a "Get well soon" balloon to it's leg. I thought it was hilarious and promptly shared it. Many responses were "Who would do this?" and "Why would anyone think this was funny?!" I looked at the picture more closely to see if I could see what they were seeing, did the person hit the deer on purpose to capture the shot? Not likely. Was there anything immoral or illegal? Nope. I think this is one of those half glass moments, where some people only see death, and mockery. I am on the other side where I see someone making the best of a bad situation. I mean, the balloon is instilling positive thoughts of getting better, there's the irony! And I love me some irony. There is nothing anyone can do for the deer, I'd be mortified if I saw a picture of someone trying to recesitate a deer, to tell you the truth! Let's also look at the amount of effort this kind of picture requires: Deer are usually found in more suburban or country areas, therefore the person would have had to drive, possibly quite a distance, to the nearest store that sold helium balloons, ordered one, and then would have driven back to snap that picture. That in itself deserves a nod in effort for the sake of art...and by art I mean humour. There have been more attacks on people's "funny" posts on Facebook than I've ever seen before.  "You should be more aware of how your posts will effect people" is the mantra of these internet police. I remember the days, when something seemed offensive to you, that you could just... turn it off. Do these people think that their finger wagging will actual change a person's sense of humour or their opinions? I'm scratching my head looking at the heated debates and rise in emotions in the comment sections, why don't these people just "unfriend" the offensive person and move on? People are getting more and more sensitive and this need to attack and judge is giving us movements like banning the word "bossy". Stand up comedians are avoiding colleges because they have been instructed to be sensitive, radio personalities have moved off radio to podcasts and satellite radio to find a forum to speak honestly and openly. Humour is going underground, jokes are threatened to be a black market item! So, you can ask this comedian if I will be censoring my Facebook page? My reply: in the wise words of Bette Midler, "If they can't take a joke, fuck ‘em”